Disconnected

these things which i so often wonder
this need to create myself
frustration forgotten through slumber
it's there when i wake
defeated before i rise
i'd pull myself out of his mire
if i could collect my strength
or muster an ounce of desire
finding the words and making them mine

is there somewhere
i could seperate this feeling from memory
disconnect myself from me

desire inside to mistreat you
it pushes words out of my mouth
this cyclical pattern i feed you
the back and forth and up and down
but still here you are

behind this veil of pious revelation
i'll close my eyes and look for worth inside
i don't deserve you

relinquishing hope for the future
i try not to hate it so
but you are a bridge to those memories
i try to forget if you only knew

is there somewhere to occupy emotion
a room to keep my rage away from you
just tell me when these hopeless days are over
i'll open my eyes and see my new sun rise
i don't deserve this